Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
