my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
did you just send me my own nude
Is this like a preordered booty call?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
