That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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