I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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