dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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