That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
