I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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