You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Damn victory sex feels great
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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