When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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