Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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