you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You pole danced in your parka.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
