I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
