I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I feel like abortions should bother me more
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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