the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
