I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
