i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My balls are so social today.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
They took my balls.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
