Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize