i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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