porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
