stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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