Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
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