Apparently you make a good broom.
i think i have herpe
just one?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
