hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
my nose is crying tears of wow.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
