what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
