i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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