I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
