are you so shy because you have an std?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
