You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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