I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
