Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
