I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
