I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
