Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
