She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
