Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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