I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
