i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
This is my gift to your gina
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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