i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
