where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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