yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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