Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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