you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
