I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize