there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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