Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
