Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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