you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
