So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
