drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
