Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
