Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
