yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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