i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
