Do you still have your period?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
