; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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