whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
