i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
3 2 1 whiskey
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
