Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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