Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I need a hoe opinion
go on
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
