Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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