We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize