I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
