I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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