they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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