Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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