my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
