I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize