i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize