So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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